Getting Married in New Zealand – Print

Getting Married in New Zealand – Te Mārenatanga ki Aotearoa:  A guide to creating wedding and birth celebrations

By Gregory Hughson & Douglas Pratt

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Print publication details

Published:  2 November 2020
Language: English
Words: 40,821
B/W text, 174 pages, 6″ x 9″

ISBNs:
NZ Print: 9781988572611
US Print-on-demand edition at
Amazon.com:
979-8-55-142855-8
International Print edition: 9781988572659

NZ $30.00

 

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Book Description

This book has everything you need to plan and create a wedding ceremony and celebration that is right for you.

The authors have many years’ experience of offering couples a multi-choice format upon which to construct their marriage ceremony. The essence of the book is flexibility and adaptability to individual circumstances.

For each key part of your wedding ceremony there are many text options to choose from. Combine them or use them as a starting point to write your own text.

The book includes templates and information for:

  • Christian and secular weddings
  • te reo Māori ceremonies
  • same-sex weddings
  • a Tibetan Buddhist ceremony, and
  • guidance about what to expect at a Moslem wedding.

Combine them or use them as a starting point to write your own text.

The authors also provide guidance about wedding receptions, including toasts, speeches and, things to avoid.

Based on their long experience of conducting wedding celebrations and working with couples, they also offer advice about building strong marriage relationships.

Click here to download free wedding and reception checklists and summaries

The authors also provide practical guidance about wedding receptions, including things to avoid, and they offer some advice about building strong, healthy marriage relationships. And they have included guidance and options celebrating the birth of children.

Both authors have significant experience of helping couples prepare for marriage and conducting marriage ceremonies. This book represents a pooling of their experience and expertise. They have also been active in promoting interfaith activity and greater interreligious understanding in New Zealand and beyond. There is a great deal that we can learn from people who base their lives and marriages on a faith different to ours, or on no particular religious faith-foundation at all. This book thus provides some “other-than-Christian faith” marriage information and ceremony options as an aid to greater understanding.

Te reo Māori (The Māori language) is an official language of Aotearoa New Zealand. The everyday use of te reo has been increasing significantly over the last 30 years. Accordingly, the authors have incorporated Ngā Whakaritenga Mārena – a marriage order of service in te reo Māori – within this book.

The authors hope that this book will also be valued by all who seek a broader and more informed understanding of marriage, including recent developments in New Zealand law to allow for same-sex marriage. Material is provided to help all readers understand some of the rationale and reasons why same-sex marriage has become legal in Aotearoa-NZ, and some of the theological understandings which undergird acceptance of same-sex marriage by some Churches. 

The format and style of the wedding reception has evolved over the years.  The authors provide advice for how to structure a contemporary wedding reception, taking account of significant changes within society.

Ceremonies of thanksgiving and blessing for the birth of a child are also included within this book. Many couples enter into a committed partnership with the intention of having, or adopting, a child, or children. Resources are provided here to assist with the creation of rituals which will help celebrate the arrival of a new life.

Getting Married in New Zealand – Te Mārenatanga ki Aotearoa is a resource for everyone.  It is also a Christian-based practical theology resource which seeks to deepen our understanding of the meaning of marriage, and to provide quality inclusive resources to celebrate and sustain marriage relationships.  It is the authors hope that this book will help meet the real needs of a new generation of couples and celebrants, both within and “way beyond” the Church.

In short, this book is:

  • ideal for celebrants to share with couples
  • ideal for couples to plan their own unique celebration
  • a helpful gift for couples preparing to marry
  • for couples seeking to deepen their marriage relationships, and
  • for theology, ministry and religious studies students

About the Authors

Gregory Hughson

With an M.Sc. in Biological Science and from a background in Agricultural Science Research, Greg trained for ordination as a Methodist Minister from 1985-1987, obtaining a Bachelor of Divinity in Practical Theology with Distinction from the University of Otago. He spent six years in parish ministry in Feilding (1988-93) followed by six years as Methodist Parish Superintendent in Gisborne (1994-99). He spent the next twenty years (2000-2019) as ecumenical chaplain at the University of Otago. Throughout his ministry Greg has enjoyed conducting many weddings, largely based on material provided by Douglas Pratt in previous editions of this book. Greg is now retired and living in Dunedin.

Douglas Pratt

Douglas trained as a Methodist minister, gaining degrees in philosophy (MA) and theology (BD, PhD). He later trained as a marriage relationship counsellor and supervisor. It was during his first parish appointment, 1975-78, that Doug began to offer a multi-choice marriage ceremony format and was at the forefront of promoting alternatives for both the ceremony and the location of weddings. Such developments paved the way for today’s context of secular (Civil) marriage celebrants. In 1984, following two years of overseas study (1979-80) and three years in Methodist parish ministry in Dunedin (1981-83), Doug took up an appointment as ecumenical chaplain to the University of Waikato. In 1988 he was appointed the foundation lecturer in Religious Studies at the University. In 1998 Doug became an Anglican priest while remaining a full-time university lecturer, retiring in 2018 as a professor. It was during his tenure as chaplain that the initial work on alternative marriage ceremonies was further developed and led to the publication of  this book’s predecessor Celebrating Marriage.

Table of Contents

  • Contents
  • Preface
  • Acknowledgements
  • About the Authors

Part One – Getting Married

1 — Introduction

2 — Practical preliminaries

    • Legal requirements
    • Age limitation
    • People previously married
    • Place of marriage
    • Time
    • Witnesses
    • Registry Office wedding option
    • Marriage and Civil Union Blessings
    • Marriage licence (Certificate of marriage)
    • Marriage by proxy
    • The banns / Formal announcement
    • Objections to a marriage
    • Four steps to getting married
      1. Decide who is to perform the ceremony
      2. Arrange for a place in which to get married
      3. Confirm that you are eligible to marry
      4. Obtain a marriage licence
    • Expectations and duties
      1. The engagement
      2. The marriage relationship: preparation and counselling
      3. The type of wedding ceremony
      4. Invitations
      5. The bridal party
      6. The role of the chief bridesmaid
      7. The role of the best man
      8. Gifts for your attendants
      9. Decorations and apparel
      10. The photographer
      11. Social Media
      12. Wedding gifts
      13. Who pays – and for what?
      14. The importance of a wedding ceremony rehearsal
      15. Some other considerations

3 — The marriage ceremony: structure and plan

    • Multi-choice marriage ceremony
      • Basic structure and item options
    • Section I – Setting the scene
      • Item 1: Introduction
      • Item 2: Prayer
      • Item 3: Reading
    • Section II – The main action
      • Item 4: Declaration of Intention
      • Item 5: The Giving and Affirmation
      • Item 6: The Vows
      • Item 7. The Exchange of Rings
      • Item 8: The Pronouncement
    • Section III – Drawing to a close
      • Item 9: Readings on love
      • Item 10: Conclusion
      • Item 11: The Dismissal
      • Item 12: The Blessing

4 —The reception: recipe for a wedding meal

    • Simplicity
    • Degrees of formality
    • Reception Outline
      1. Commencement
      2. Toast to the marriage partners
      3. The marriage partner’s speech
      4. Reply
      5. The best man’s speech
      6. Other toasts
      7. Cutting of the cake
      8. Messages of congratulation
      9. The wedding meal
    • Advice for all speakers

5 — Celebration and commitment: the honeymoon and beyond

    • Seven keys to a healthy relationship
      • Communication
      • Acceptance
      • Sensitivity
      • Understanding
      • Respect
      • Mutual Support
      • Forgiveness
    • Some relationship-building exercises
    • Share with each other
    • An exercise in touch
    • Learning to express feelings and reactions

Part Two – Marriage Records

1 — Planning your wedding: a practical guide

    • Preparation checklist
    • Marriage ceremony selection list
    • The reception: a summary
      • Style of wedding reception meal
      • Toasts and speeches
      • Cutting the cake
      • Reading of messages
      • Social time and/or dance option
      • Reception checklist

2 — Keeping Account:  A wedding and anniversary record…

      • Our Wedding Day
      • Our anniversaries

Part Three – Having Children

1 — Welcoming children

2 — Celebrating birth: ceremony formats

  • Ceremony 1
    • Format options:
    • Introduction
    • A reflective reading or mediation
    • An act of promise by the parents
    • An act of promise by the Godparents
    • An affirmation by family and friends
    • An act of blessing
    • Prayer of thanksgiving
    • The Lord’s Prayer (may be spoken together)
    • The Benediction
    • Ceremony 2
      • Format options:
    • Ceremony 3

Part Four – Same-Sex ceremonies

1 — Weddings and Blessings

2 — Marriage ceremony resources and options

3 —The blessing of same-sex marriage

      • Preliminary prayers
      • The Blessing of the Couple

Part Five – Alternative language and religion options

1 — A Māori language ceremony: Te ritenga karakia mō te Mārena

    • Ngā Whakaritenga Mārena – order of marriage service/ceremony
      • Te Whakaeke (the arrival process/ kawa of the Marae)
      • Te Minita (Minister / Celebrant)
      • He Mihi Whakatau (Welcome to the guests)
      • Te Karakia (Prayers)
      • Anei ētahi kōrero o ngā Karaipiture e pā ana ki te mārena (Scripture readings)
      • Ngā Pātai (main questions to the couple)
      • Kia inoi Tātou (prayer)
      • Ngā Oati Tapu (Vows/oaths)
      • Ngā Rīngi (The giving and receiving of rings)
      • Te Whakapai (Prayer of Blessing)
      • He Waiata (song or hymn)
      • Te Inoi a Te Ariki (The Lord’s Prayer)
      • Te Waitohu i te Raihana Mārena (signing the marriage register)
      • Te Whakatau (Declaration of Marriage)

2 — A Buddhist (Tibetan) marriage ceremony

      • Wedding Format

3 — Muslim marriage

      • The Nikah (Muslim marriage contract ceremony)
      • Sample of a simple Muslim marriage contract:
      • Vows and Blessings
      • What Guests Should Wear to a Muslim Wedding
      • The Bride’s Wedding Outfit
      • Separating Genders
      • The Wedding Feast (Walima)

Appendices

1 — Hymn, song and musical options

2 — Website / Internet resources

3 — References

4 — Bibliography of same-sex resources

Keywords

Weddings; wedding planners; Marriage; Christian sacraments; Same-Sex ceremonies; Buddhism wedding ceremony; Family and Relationships; Parenting; Dating, relationships, living together and marriage; Gay and Lesbian interest; Christian worship, rites and ceremonies; Christian sacraments; Christian spirituality and religious experience; Interfaith relations; Christian life and practice; Christian aspects of sexuality, gender and relationships; New Zealand; Christian prayer; Buddhist life and practice; Islamic worship, rites and ceremonies; Marriage and Long-Term Relationships; Love and Romance; Parenting; Christian Living; Christian Ministry; Pastoral Resources; LGBT Studies;  Love and Marriage; Buddhism wedding ceremony; Family and Relationships; Parenting; Christian Rituals and Practice;  Sacraments; Islam Rituals and Practice; Sexuality and Gender Studies; Sociology; Marriage and Family

BIC

  • WJW     Weddings, wedding planners
  • VFVG    Dating, relationships, living together and marriage
  • 5S         Of specific Gay and Lesbian interest…
  • HRCR   Christian worship, rites and ceremonies…
  • HRCV1 Christian sacraments
  • HRCS   Christian spirituality and religious experience…
  • HRAF   Interfaith relations
  • HRCV   Christian life and practice…
  • HRCV4 Christian aspects of sexuality, gender and relationships
  • 1MBN  New Zealand
  • HRCR1 Christian prayer
  • HREP   Buddhist life and practice
  • HRHC   Islamic worship, rites and ceremonies

Thema

  • WJW    Weddings, wedding planners
  • VFVG  Dating, relationships, living together and marriage: advice and issues
  • QRVJ1 Worship, rites, ceremonies and rituals
  • QRMP Christian life and practice
  • QRMP1  Christian sacraments
  • 2PGPA   Maori language
  • 5HKF  Baptism
  • QRFP  Buddhist life and practice
  • QRPP  Islamic life and practice

BISAC

  • FAM030000   FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Marriage & Long-Term Relationships
  • FAM056000   FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / LGBT
  • FAM029000   FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Love & Romance
  • FAM034000   FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Parenting / General
  • REL012000    RELIGION / Christian Living / General
  • REL074000    RELIGION / Christian Ministry / Pastoral Resources
  • SOC064000   SOCIAL SCIENCE / LGBT Studies / General
  • REL077000    RELIGION / Faith
  • REL012050    RELIGION / Christian Living / Love & Marriage
  • REL007050    RELIGION / Buddhism / Tibetan
  • REL012030    RELIGION / Christian Living / Family & Relationships
  • REL012160    RELIGION / Christian Living / Parenting
  • REL074000    RELIGION / Christian Ministry / Pastoral Resources
  • REL055010    RELIGION / Christian Rituals & Practice / Sacraments
  • REL037030    RELIGION / Islam / Rituals & Practice
  • REL105000    RELIGION / Sexuality & Gender Studies
  • SOC026010   SOCIAL SCIENCE / Sociology / Marriage & Family

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Getting Married in New Zealand – Te Mārenatanga ki Aotearoa: 
A guide to creating wedding and birth celebrations
By Gregory Hughson & Douglas Pratt


New Zealand 
Customers

NZ$30.00 plus postage


Australian Customers
NZ$43.10 including airmail postage


Rest of the World Customers
NZ$54.60 including airmail postage

Click here for eBooks